dthomas@ star-telegram.com
Putting on our Sunday best…Major announcement from the Star-Telegram: In honor of the Dallas Cowboys’ new marketing agreement with Marvel Comics, we will be adding bubbles reading “ZAP!,” “BOOM!” and “POW!” to photos of Cowboys players making tackles.As part of the Cowboys-Marvel agreement, fans can buy Cowboys T-shirts that include Super Heroes. I’m thinking fans would rather be able to buy Cowboys T-shirts that say “NFC Champions,” but maybe that’s just me.Jerry Jones Jr. said he hopes fans will be energized by combining the Cowboys with “some of the all-time great Super Heroes that everyone has grown up with.” Raise your hand if when you were growing up, your Super Heroes were Cowboys.Ollie the Optimist has his own slogan for this week’s All-Star Game with the Texas Rangers in the game managing, coaching and playing for home-field advantage in the World Series: “This time it really, really counts.”Alex Rodriguez, Derek Jeter, Mariano Rivera, Jose Reyes and Shane Victorino have pulled out of the All-Star Game because of injuries. If Felix Hernandez, Justin Verlander, Matt Cain and James Shields pitch today as scheduled, they’ll have to be replaced, too. When did the All-Star Game become the Pro Bowl?Gotta admit that I got goose bumps watching Derek Jeter get his 3,000th hit Saturday. It’s a fantasy baseball thing, you know.Did you see that “fight” between David Ortiz and Kevin Gregg during Friday night’s Boston Red Sox-Baltimore Orioles game? Brought back memories of watching Rob Deer play for the Milwaukee Brewers back in the day: lots of big swings, not much contact.If Roger Clemens is supposed to be tried by a jury of his peers, shouldn’t the names for the jury pool have been pulled out of the Mitchell Report?I’m not saying that NFL owners and players might be getting close to an agreement, but I hear that commissioner Roger Goodell has been spotted buying fantasy football preview magazines.Ohio State is vacating all its wins from the 2010 season, making it as though the games never occurred. Now the school is trying to find a way to vacate Jim Tressel.To update the scoreboard, Ohio State has lost its coach, its star quarterback, 11 regular-season victories, a Big Ten championship and a Sugar Bowl victory. I guess Ohio State has lost just about everything from last season. Except for the big check it received for playing in the Sugar Bowl, of course.If the NCAA really wants to send a message by inflicting pain on some of those involved in the infractions at Ohio State, it could make the players have their illegally obtained tattoos covered up. I hear that’s really painful.Wimbledon champion Novak Djokovic returned to Serbia with a parade that drew 100,000 fans. “Only Serbians can throw a party like this,” Djokovic told the crowd. Hey, hey there, Novak. Did you see our parade for the Dallas Mavericks?It’s been a year since The Decision, so let’s do a quick analysis. Who has suffered the most career damage from The Decision: LeBron James or Jim Gray?Not to further fuel thoughts that Miami Heat players tend to over-celebrate, but Chris Bosh reportedly had a four-day-long bachelor party.Find sports humor columnist David Thomas on Facebook by searching for “Fans’ Insider,” and follow him on Twitter @FansInsider.David Thomas, 817-390-7760
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